My pastor is really mad at me for putting out there that she is nuts--however, I've said it to her face many times. The bad thing is my son John--the girls Dad-- called my pastor and she is mad about that. All I get are hang up calls and His trying to get on the girls face books etc. My Pastor ---he actually speaks to.

John--DON'T CALL THE PASTOR!!!
DON'T CALL US!!!!!!!

Your daughter is as safe as she wants to be and doesn't want to hear, see, or know you. Drop it. It's bad enough the heritage you and Gina left them with---that is the biggest problem Alyssa has. Six years of a frightening and unstable life with drugged out drunks and fear fear fear! And she is still afraid. I will not put anything else on about the girls. Ever. Man when we screw up we do it good huh?

Somebody says "Give me the child from birth to five years and that child is mine forever. "

We got one child in time, but not the other. And she is paying a bigger price than she can bear.
She needs to come home and finish school--not follow in your footsteps.

And yeah--I've talked to lots of therapists and psychiatrists and I am not nuts--I'm eccentric, creative to a fault, bored, sick and in pain but none of those is nuts. My Pastor is every bit as nuts as I am. But I am sorry she felt it was wrong to put it on my blog where no one has ever visited except family members.

And I'm getting rid of the blog too. I want to really write now. And then get the hell out of here.

Thanks everybody--I'm so pissed off now I should write a best seller.

hell in untied tennis shoes

We are having the worst years of our lives--health and the hormones of teenage girls. The oldest is now living with our Pastor who apparently never heard of grounding --she was cutting herself and is madly in love with a tiny 21 year old twerp who can't spell or read--Alyssa failed her classes by simply not turning in her homework she actually did--She was an honor roll kid for the last 10 years--now she wants to live with this jackass and we all have to go to therapy evey week and she refuses to speak. I'd slap her face if I could do it and not get put in jail for abuse.

Annie went to Europe-last summer for three weeks with the state of Neb. best band kids-- is still on the honor roll and is only driving us crazy with all the colleges she is hearing from--she is only in 10th grade!She goes to Chicago this June for a big orchestra event. Just to be friendly with Alysssa Annie cut herself too but she quit--meanwhile Alyssa plays tic tak toe in light little cuts on her wrist. But she ran away, and when we called police and they saw the cuts they took her--oh--I GUESS I'd better tell why the police took her--I'd said when we got her grades that she was really cutting her chances for jobs--she won't work in food, that's disgusting, she doese'nt want to work reatail because she hates people, she can't actually get a job with her requirement that no one ever tell her "no". That leaves being a prostitute, if her price is right she won't hear no. Phil said she'd need math (she failed it) I said well you actually just give the money to your pimp. That pissed her off. And she told the police that I called her a prostitue--which I didn't--we have gone on trips to phychitrists in North Paltte who said we were not abusing Alyssa, and she needs to straighten up--we had Social Services in our no abuse and Alyssa needs to straighten up( by the way all the psychitrists and therapists nearly fell on the floor laughing at my job choice description--and one guy slapped Phil on the back and said good comeback--that's hilarious!)--but we have to pay for her to go into foster homes so our pastor said she'd take Alyssa. And now I know what a nutcase she is. The Pastor. I think the Pastor is nuttier than I am and that is saying something!

I" m on enough drugs to kill a good sized horse.Fortunately I'm not a horse.

But I've lost weight, have my diabetes under control and actually want to write again.Being pissed off is usually why I write. And I'm really pissed off.